i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
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