love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
