Swine flu. Run for my life!
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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