It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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