I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
