..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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