Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
