Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize