if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
