Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
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This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
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We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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