I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
