i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
