If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
