I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
