dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
