I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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