anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
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