she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
