it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
