East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
