Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
