Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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