Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize