i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
