I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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