You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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