Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
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Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
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An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
You don't make any sense
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