she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Randomize
