I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
