There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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