Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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