i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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