i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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