I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Randomize
