idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
two words: eviction party
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Randomize
