Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Randomize
