she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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