I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
