They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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