Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
