I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Can Purell be used as lube?
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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