Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
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Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
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I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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