You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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