If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
