Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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