some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
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