Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
