wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize