You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Randomize
