i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Randomize
