ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize