I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
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The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
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His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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