if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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