your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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