barbara walters just said penis...
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
