my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
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