Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
