i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize