so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize