It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
