Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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