were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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